Some of you (if not all of you) loyal supporters were probably wondering what the hell happened to SPL over the past couple of weeks. You were probably thinking the worse when you heard the rumors of murder, witchcraft attacks or secret buyouts by al-Qaeda. All false. No, as it turns out one of the key members of SPL, me, was hospitalized for some time. There was no plot to take down the mighty KAGE, but Hitchcock himself could not have crafted a more sordid tale of mystery, intrigue and utter ridiculousness. Why was I bed-ridden for six days you ask? Simple: I was poisoned.

The following tale is not for the faint of heart. It contains graphic language of a two week ordeal of a medical mystery. The names were changed to protect the innocent and many details have been embellished for the sake of storytelling. Without further ado, I present to you the macabre story of:

The Deodorant That (Almost) Did Me In Part I

More after leaping. . .

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I recently (re)discovered this lovely little service called TokBox. Basically, you sign up and it lets you leave voice and video messages, chat and podcast. It’s a pretty nifty little social networking experiment. They even have a Facebook app that lets you audio/video chat with your peoples through Facebook.
You can catch me acting a fool at http://www.tokbox.com/spl_kage. Hit me up and leave me a message; I like new friends.

Yes, that was a Jodeci lyric above.

- KAGE

Do you often find yourself bored, staring blankly at your computer screen, waiting for somebody to post something on your facebook wall? Stop it, you’re wasting time and money on nothing. Instead, waste time and money on this little internet game put out by Mazapán.se called You Have To Burn The Rope. The premise is simple enough: you have to burn the rope. But you’ll find yourself spending more time than it takes here because of the killer soundtrack provided by Henrik Nåmark. All in all, a clever little distraction between wall posts and commenting on your friends status. Props to alphapack for cluing me in on this.

2. There is a boss at the end of this tunnel.
- KAGE

Last night alphapack and I went out to Hugs (my new favorite place) in Williamsburg BK to watch history happen. This post would have been put up earlier but instead of listening to Minister Farrakhan we stayed out and got wasted.
Brooklyn blew the fukk up last night as countless heads, from hipsters to hoodrats, took to the streets in celebration of Obama/Biden taking The White House. It is truly a great day in America.

Peep pics from the celebration HERE.

Now what?
- KAGE

Running on rooftops, flying through the air fighting, endless bullets flying in slow motion and now they decide to add the no touch shoe tying to their repertoire. What will they come up with next? A smokable form of heroin? Dare to dream. I dunno how real this is, bit if it is indeed real, this is the coolest thing I’ve seen since the paint on condom. And equally as impractical.

Magical. . .
- KAGE

This ad is straight dope. This is a fresh way to give censorship the middle finger and use porn creatively. And who doesn’t like porn?

Oh yeah, Sarah Palin.

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Almost Clothed.
- KAGE

Um . . . I don’t even know where to begin:

I’ll leave the snarky comments to you folks.
- KAGE

So I was in the bodega (corner convenience store for those “non-urban” of us out there) picking up a $0.99 Arizona Ice Tea and in the cooler next to it I see this:

So either it’s inspired by a bowling pin or a deformed penis. I mean, I use my hands a lot and I just can’t see myself tossing one of these back after a long, hard day of pumping out product. And that’s just the tip of it. I certainly wouldn’t want to wrap my lips around this bottle no matter how much more satisfaction I would get from the frothy, bubbly contents. Frankly, this is a little hard to swallow.

Um. . . “PAUSE?”
- KAGE

This video is GENIUS!!!

The boys from Brownsville meet the Seasame Street. The sync on this vid is so accurate it’s almost incredible. . . Almost. Ultimately this dude has way too much time on his hands. Go outside and rollerblade in a circle or something.

Get up off them goddamn diamonds!
- KAGE

I don’t even know where to begin. . .

VIDEO: http://www.kcra.com/video/16685335/index.html

. . . Really?
- KAGE